life hits hard.

you know those moments in life where it's like, "woah wasn't expecting that one!" life just seems to throw you a perfect curve ball that hits you square in the face. you want to thank life for the warning except it never gave you one so you're kind of offended but then just like magic you suddenly see how perfect that curve ball was and even though it hit you in the face you're grateful because you probably would have struck out anyways if it didn't?

well i hate baseball but that right there was basically my last two weeks of living. i've met some new peeps, decided i have no idea what i'm doing with school, started teaching another clogging class, etc. now when i write it all out i laugh at myself like "really? that's it? that's what hit you in the face?" well if you know me you know i always have a plan. and if things don't go quite accordingly i kind of freak.

college is a funny thing. there are thousands of people walking around attending different classes that will most likely effect everything else they do in life. some have it all figured out and some really have no idea. well i used to be one of those "i know exactly what i want to do and what i will do with it and etc." but this week as i was taking a math test (yes a test on the first week of school, death right?) i thought to myself what am i doing? is this really something i want to do? i had a little "come to jesus" moment with myself right there in the testing center (i don't recommend doing this in the testing center) and then i finished my test, walked to my friends office and shed some tears about how i no longer knew what i was going to do in school and i had no plan. zero.

so i have spent all day looking at different classes that i should take to just my generals out of the way while i figure out what in the world i'm going to do. and i have spent the last few drives to different places, walking from class to class, and down time having a little battle in my head. i again laughed at myself thinking about how people driving or walking by me must think i'm crazy because my facial expressions i'm sure were quite classic. after i had thought about all my worries with school, family, and just life i happened to come across the most perfect quote, "you don't have to have it all figured out to move forward." GOLD PEOPLE. pure gold.

so what did i do? i went to lunch with my most favorite person and best friend, my mom. if you don't know her you're missing out because she's the most loving, caring, stylish mom ever. i told her all my worries and updated her on the happenings in my life and she just listened and at the end made sure i knew she loved me no matter what. she's really great at that.

where does this leave me? i have no idea. ha! what?! crazy. i'm so not used to not having a plan but i already am feeling way better about life. like a light feather. so for all of you out there that may happen to stumble across this styleless blog, written by a girl who no longer has a plan and if you are rowing in the same boat remember it's okay not to have it all figured out all of the time and that curve balls can actually be quite the blessing.

also: i can't wait for summer.

much love,

jan