potential.

i've noticed something about myself. after reading a good book, seeing an inspiring movie, and finding new music that really hits the spot, my mind starts running. i start thinking of different ideas about life and how it relates to mine. i listen to songs over and over because they seems to fill whatever it was i didn't know i was lacking, i keep turning pages because i can't miss out on the story, and i don't want the credits to start because i feel i have become a part of the movie. silly right? well that's me. and i'm sure it's you too or at least you've felt it before. that's why good entertainment fills the soul.

however lately all of the different songs i have found, the movie a recently watched (Saving Mr. Banks it's incredible), and the book i just turned the last page in have all made me think of a single concept. i have thought about it so much that i haven't been able to sleep and because of that here i am typing away in the room i was always a little girl in. that topic: potential. when i was a little girl i never thought i would have the experiences i have had. i thought by now i would be living in a little house with my little gang of girl friends and a few puppies that would always stay little. but as i have grown to be the still little girl i am today i have realized the potential of life in particularly two, what i think to be, key aspects.

first, the potential of learning. i have always enjoyed school and up until college i was really good at it and it came naturally. i loved solving math problems and finding how the world worked and how things reacted. i loved learning about the different cultures around the world and how differently people lived. in my junior year i was able to go to australia. my first time out of the country. i was able to meet and experience how they lived differently from what i was used to. i was able to go into a suburb and enjoy some shrimp on the barbie. it was incredible and i have kept learning through traveling. as i went into college learning took a lot more work. studying was a completely different concept than high school. i couldn't believe it. though it was hard i wanted to push myself and throughout this christmas break i think i have found why. i have an incredible amount of potential. i have been reminded over and over through reading The Book of Mormon that if i am striving to live worthily and keep the commandments that whatsoever thing i desire that is good will come to pass. maybe not the next day and maybe not for quite some time or even in this life, but it will come. i have related this to my college experience. as i strive to live worthily i better understand what i am learning. looking back on the last 3 semesters of college i have not only learned so much academically or "by the book" but i have learned a lot about myself. for instance (for some comedic relief): taking an 8 am class is really never EVER a good idea. and, in my case, studying in the library brings on some real anxiety. i get too worried about everybody because i can literally feel the stress radiating off of their body. my bed is a much safer study place. thinking of how many more classes and credits i need to take is very frightening but realizing that i have potential i haven't even discovered makes me excited for the future because i know that if i continue striving to live right i will get there.

the other one is love. yes the book i just finished by a love story. (side note: boys if you ever want to figure out a way to a woman's heart all you need to do is read a nicholas sparks book. study them like a text book and you're golden to win the girls heart. that's a real thing.) i have a few friends recently that i really believe have fallen in love. real love. not just a sissy relationship. i've watched them become much better people and make changes big and small in their lives. i have watched my parents and the incredible love they have shared for the past 26 years and how they are still incredibly happy. as i have been thinking about this i remembered a very special experience i had last summer that i would like to share. i traveled a lot last summer. i probably slept in a hotel bed more than my own. towards the end of the summer my last little get a way was to idaho to teach a clogging camp. one of the nights i was there i went with my grandma and my aunt and uncle and their kids to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to see the Bar J Wranglers (a fantastic western music comedy show). I have seen them many times and love it more and more each time. this time was my favorite but had nothing to do with the show. after the show closed i went out and sat on a swing waiting for the traffic to clear and my family to come out. one of my grandmas close neighbors, an elderly man, came and sat next to me on the bench. i could tell he was a little sad and remembered my grandma telling me his wife had just passed away a few months ago. for a while we sat there in silence just taking in the summer night. i heard him sniff and looked over to see a few tears roll down his cheeks. my eyes started to swell with tears and i reached for his weathered hand. that's when he started to tell me about his wife. how they met, how great she was with her different church callings and their children, and mostly how much he loved and missed her. they were married for over 50 years. i felt something i had never felt before. i knew how much this man had loved his wife but even more i felt it. i couldn't help but cry with him as he kept repeating, "i love her so much.. i miss her so much" i didn't know what to say. i had never felt so broken hearted with someone. i never knew someone could love someone so much. i have grandparents that have incredible love stories and that i know loved each other so deeply however something touched my heart that night that i will never forget. i want to love like this man loved his wife. i want others to feel my love for my spouse as strongly as i had that night on the swing. he truly gave his whole heart to love her. how is that possible? i truly believe it is because the potential we have to love. it is in each of us and it will grow over time that i think we never thought it would be possible to. it will be real, it will be pure, and it will be unlike we have ever experienced. and as we love more our potential to love will only grow more. how remarkable!

potential only grows. when there seems to be so much confusion and worry in the world this topic seems to bring me peace. as i learn more and as i love more, i gain more potential. with this potential i, and even you,  can have an impact on the world. you have dreams, go get them. you have a wonderful life full of learning and loving ahead go take it! it may and probably will not be easy but it will be worth it. you may have to let go of something you have held on to too tightly for too long but it will be worth it. because of all of this i have found more possibilities and an even greater potential.

much love,

jan

I believe.

yes this summer was insane and yes i'm pretty sure i spent more nights in a hotel bed then in my own and yes i do have an extremely long post coming with many pictures of all the adventures that i am oh so grateful for but first this is more important.

i have had quite the week. a good week. fantastic actually. my favorite day? maybe monday. which is mostly because i have very little friends that are still in utah county while the rest are saving souls around the world. and for all you mothers, missionary girl friends, and best friends, monday has possibly become the greatest day of the week. right? it's email day! and personally i check my email at least 10000 times because i LOVE getting everyones emails.

however this week has also been so great because of something i believe in. along with most of you i am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. and this week i have felt extremely loved, watched over, comforted, and cared for by my Heavenly Father.

i am currently taking two religion classes at BYU and i must say my D&C teacher rocks. each class she is so powerful and close to the spirit. there have been many things that she has said that i have needed and have had to hide the tears in my eyes. one day while doing the reading for that class the very last paragraph said "He loves you. No matter who you are or where you have come from. No matter what you have done or who you have been. He is waiting for you to come to him and no matter what has happened He is there." what a profound statement. NO MATTER what you have done He will forgive you. NO MATTER how alone you feel He is there. He knows us better than we know ourselves and is ALWAYS by our side.

i have tried to make the goal of while driving to work to try and listen to a talk from conference and the other day i chose to listen to a broadcast by President Uchtdorf at the Relief Society Broadcast in 2011 called Forget Me Not. if you haven't heard of this, listen to it. it is so so good. but my favorite part is when he reminds us, "The love of God and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow."

throughout this week these little messages of love and forgiveness have been appearing everywhere! the other night after so many more of these little lines i said a prayer thanking my Heavenly Father for not forgetting me and who i am and what i need. being a girl, feeling forgotten is quite easy. but to each of you may i say you are never alone. He is there and He is waiting.

as i have been thinking about this thought of "never alone" i have thought of all the girls i graduated with and may have done a little facebook/instagram stalking. but it's amazing to me that though many are on missions, out of state, married, or just living life, there are so many that are so supportive of eachother. from watching madeline vance talk about how great ashlyn rire was during the wedding process to cassidy vansolkema being a rock for each girl older or younger to rely on to tiffanie allen making sure each girl feels love to tori ware ashlyn rire and chelsea clayton being so supportive of eachother to annie madsen writing the best blog post about social media to skylar olsen being the cutest and one of the strongest girls i have ever met, i look up to them all and the amazing friends they are to each other. they may not realize it but i think the rest of the world might that these girls and so many more i didn't name are making sure others never feel a lone or forgotten. how lucky are we all to have a friend like that? but we must remember we can be that friend to someone else.

what a week. what a lovely week. thank you all for being someone i look up to. you all make an influence big and small.

may i just say i love the gospel of Jesus Christ. i love the comfort i feel and the joy it brings. i am not perfect but with a gospel such as this, i can be perfected. to those of you who don't feel like you are loved or feel they are a lone i give you the amazing words from my most favorite general authority, “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”


I am truly truly grateful that i know i am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and i know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ and the restored gospel i will be able to return to Them and be with my family through the eternities. what a wonderful blessings. enjoy your weekend everyone.

 

 

who am i? i am me.

i once read a blog where this girl did a little bio on her life and it was so cool. i felt like i almost knew her after reading it as if she was one of my own friends. i love blogging, more than i ever really thought i would and love to hear what people have to say about my blog. (i secretly wish i was some big time nyc blogger. how cool would that be?!) anyway. here is a little about me.

JanaLe Henderson was born in a little town called rexberg idaho. she was born into a family of two loving parents, two older brothers, and later a younger sister and a younger brother. little did she know how lucky she would be to grow up in such a family.

as a little baby she moved to orem utah by the fire station and grew up thinking she was the next power ranger and loved taking pepsi dog out for walks. she then moved to a house not too far from there and met her crew of little girl friends who were inseparable. thinking they would grow up to own houses and many animals these girls were set. life went on, broken arms were more common than the usual child, and slowly but surely she grew.

the awkward stages of jr high happened and life shifted. new friends were made, boys didn't have as much cooties as we thought, and clogging became her main thing. she became even closer to cousins and siblings and started to realize just how cool her family was.

as high school started this girl had to transition all over again. with most of her friends going to orem she secretly cried the first day of school knowing things would be so different. high school turned out not being so bad. she learned to make new friends, that family was most important, and realized life is only as good as you make it. her senior year went a little faster than she would have liked and with so many new and close friends, the summer started and turned into one full of adventure. one she'll never forget.

college came up in a blink of an eye and she learned to how hard one has to work to survive. she became so close with her roommate and came to know just how finals could be the death of someone. she tried new things such as a pageant and came closer with family.

now i, janale, a lot of the time go by jan. i have a travelers heart and love to be a helping hand. i enjoy the sunshine and being outside, clogging until my feet can't keep up with my heart, meeting new people, listening to country music, talking and laughing with friends, being with family, taco amigo, and exploring. i'm swooned by a new pair of shoes, cute clothes, athletic boys, sweet harmonies, and pina-colodas. i've had my nights of crying over boys and not being able to sleep because of pure excitement, i've made mistakes and had to ask for forgiveness, i learned who i am and continue to grow every day, i am a girl who can be shy but has my crazy times, a dreamer and believer, supporter of family bands, and just enjoys enjoying life. i dream to be a mom, travel the world, and help those around me. but most of all i just love being me.

--she turned her can nots into cans, and her dreams into plans.

miss orem. an incredible experience.

wow. what an experience! competing for miss orem was something i would have never thought i would ever do! during the opening number as we were all dancing i thought to myself, "this can't be real life! how did i get myself into this? what am i doing?!" needless to say my knees were out of control shaking!

this whole thing started in the beginning of february and since then every thursday night we got together with the amazing committee members and practiced walking, interview, dancing, etc. this pageant world is totally different than what i thought it would be. i learned so much about myself throughout this whole process. i realized i needed to have an opinion about things going on around me, i became involved in what was going on in the city, and had to stay on top of current events. those judges could ask anything they wanted to and they did just that!

by far my favorite part, and the main reason i ran, was for my platform. suicide awareness: aware to care. i have been volunteering at the utah county crisis hotline, researching, talking to teachers, trying to start clubs, and really get involved and be heard. i believe that it's the little things we do everyday that help prevent suicide. i know that it is real and i feel that it needs to be talked about instead of being pushed aside in the corner. the rates of this epidemic have risen immensely during the past year but can be stopped. a little side note, to those of you who have been effected by loved ones or someone close to you committing suicide you are not hurting alone. so many others are feeling something quite similar and are there to help you. take what you have learned and reach out to those around you, talk about it, and know you are so so loved. i promise you can make a difference big and small.

anyways. i learned so much and had a great time meeting so many amazing girls. i took first runner up, the community service award (for this i had to write a letter to the mayor about my platform), the model and composure award, and the children's network award (an award for raising money for the miss america platform). all the girls were incredible and so talented! i feel so blessed to receive the many things i did this weekend but i could have never done it with out an amazing support system. my family, lisslou for doing my hair and makeup and everything in-between, roommate (han), friends, committee members, and so many more helped me with walking, serving, confidence and so much more. i would never be where i am today without these amazing people.

and now for pictures! here's most of the ones from the night hopefully i will get the rest up on Facebook sometime soon!

--props to my cute dad!

--geting ready to go to interview!

--camille one of my most favorite people meeting doing the best of faces before the show. 

--opening number

--swim suite, probably the scariest part of it all!

--talent: clogging

--on stage question.

--waiting for the results here are the miss contestants

and now all the pictures of the best support ever! i don't have all the pictures of all of you that were there and the many there in spirit but thank you so much again!!

--right after finding out.

--cute brother of mine.

--i really have the greatest roommate ever. han thank you so so much!! you rock. (don't touch my tail you'll get it dirty)

--thank you girls so so much!

--only a fraction of the best support group out there!

--cute GiGi was so sad she couldn't come so we took a picture today instead. after this picture she looked at me with the cutest saddest face and said that with all of her princess dresses she needed a crown and was wondering if she could have mine. haha that girl kills me! 

thank you all again! i can't even describe how grateful i am to all of you! thanks for reading!

much love.